My life took a break for some kind of double-punch upper respiratory thing that made me want to die. Blech. It’s Christmas Eve now, I feel I’ve turned a corner, so its time for me to get back to my turkeysicle in the fridge.
When I read the recommended Bobby Flay recipe, I adored the flavor profile; parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. But I could see immediately from the amount of broth used in cooking that this is not a recipe compatible with a turkey bag. I’m enough of a foodie that someday I probably will devote a day to basting, but this is not that year. My husband only has one day off work, one shot at actual Christmas, and it won’t do to have all my time, attention, and anxiety inside an oven.
How to keep the flavor profile, but not baste? I’ve read dozens of recipes and vacillated between ideas, and here’s the thing: Everyone has their strategy. Everyone gives helpful ideas. This is because turkey is an awful meat! It’s a difficult, fiddly bird that has the propensity to both dry out AND be flavorless. Everyone has their fool-proof method as to how to solve this problem, but the true fools are us, the ones who continue to try to cook this meat year after year. People have struggled with it for generations, and here’s the proof: poultry seasoning! When I went to my cupboard, I realized the answer to parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme is poultry seasoning. Turkey has plagued home chefs for so long that this is just a standard seasoning.
So, I have decided to bow to the wisdom of my elders and use butter, salt, pepper, poultry seasoning, carrot, celery, onion, and maybe even an apple for taste.
However, in my research, two methods have come to the fore: a turkey bag (I thought over using a paper bag, as friend suggested, but the Reynolds bag was already in the online shopping cart, so there you go). I also have been pondering spatchcocking.
Spatchcocking is taking the wishbone and backbone out of a turkey, laying it flat, and roasting. Advantages: It takes less time to cook, and the skin will turn out much more browned and crispy than can ever happen in a bag. Disadvantages: It takes up more room in the oven, obliterating my hope of making Curried Fruit, and let’s face it: I’ve never done a full turkey before. Spatchcocking at this point seems a little too AP, getting above my station, risky.
I have until tomorrow morning to keep researching, reconsidering. The amount of thought I have already put into this bird could power a few tiny towns throughout the Christmas break, I’m sure.
Until then, I will work on the pies and the sides, plotting my own fool-proof recipe for this unworthy, fiddly bird.
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