Tuesday, June 19


Nightmares. Bitter.

Early morning liturgy. Sweet.

Going to the doctor and realizing that I only hate the pregnant women there for a fraction of the time that I used to. Bittersweet.

Telling my friend of my soul's repair and success and having her worry that maybe I will hate her when she is pregnant again. Bitter. I didn't mean it that way. I told her because her eldest son is the first baby that I didn't hate when I realized I would never be a mom. That family has been so redemptive and healing for me. And they don't know it, and they can't understand. Some walk this soil and never know the blessing they are to others.

Getting the sweetest cuddle from her second son. If my soul hadn't healed, I would have missed that!! Sweet.

Meeting with a wonderful woman who is also an "adult of divorce." She reached out to me, took the time. Sweet.

Recounting all of the shocks and sadnesses the divorce has brought me. The confusion, the ironies. Bitter.

Knowing that the thing that she says is the worst part of it is the first thing I had encountered in "processing." Knowing I am not alone, that I can see myself in her eyes. Bittersweet.

Feeling I have gained a friend, knowing that she will pray for me. Sweet.

It's been a bittersweet day.

Thursday, June 7

Classroom Rug

The classroom rug is where it all begins.

Every teacher of young children knows that. Every day begins with circle time; morning greetings, calendar, weather, pledge of allegiance and the like.

Today I got to pick out a classroom rug for my new classroom. *excited!*

Because of that rug, kids will know what it means to sit on the perimeter or in the area of the rug. We will count on our 100s chart; 2s, 5s, 10s; and then we will count by 3s, because that will make multiplying by 3 so much easier later on. Vocabulary is important. We will discuss circumference and the symmetry of leaves.

On the property where our school will be there are so many different kinds of leaves; cypress, elm, weeping willow, juniper... we will explore leaves and trees. We will hold earthworms and watch plants grow, we will pet, feed, or watch as many different kingdoms of animals as we can. A bird's nest blew out of a tree, and I collected it. The birds' loss will be the student's gain.

We will paint and draw and dance and sing. We will explore color and tone and the history of art and music.

We will revel in letters and rhyme. "Print-rich environment" is what they call it... Fairy tales, nursery rhymes, poems, Aesop's fables, picture books, classics, singing songs, memorizing Psalms.

We will pray our prayers and learn to be God's. This will mean learning to share, be patient, take turns, and do good work. It will mean to use all of our senses to know ourselves, each other, and the Holy Trinity. It will mean to lose ourselves in the joy of knowledge and the wonderment of Creation.

The classroom rug is where it all begins.

And I am so excited.

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