Thursday, August 1

Kicking My Own Butt; or Everything Old is New Again

While I was moving, I came across an undated printout of some writing I did. It's printed on the old paper with holes and perforations up the sides!!! By my best guess, I must have written it, oh... twenty years ago-ish. It was a list of things I wanted to remember. The astonishing and humbling thing is how much it applies to my life today. I wonder if I have ever grown at all... 

I want to remember that there are a lot of things that don't matter to God. His will is actually a very freeing place to be, not a place that I have to worry and ponder over. I need to remember that to do the task that He has put me to at this very moment is His will for my life, not some far-off call that I can't reach now. He'll get me there in His time. I also need to remember that if God wants to direct me to a new task, He's big enough to get my attention and see to it that I get there. I want to remember that I need to act how God would have me, regardless of other people or circumstances that would tempt me to do otherwise. I need to remember not to let fear be a motivation for anything I do--when I act out of fear, the result is almost always destructive and leads to the situation being less God's and more Fear's. I need to remember that for me, there is but one law: Love God with my whole heart, mind, and strength and to love my neighbor as myself. I want to remember and treasure the fact that God loves me and blesses me apart from any bad or good that I've done. That this is love: that while I was a sinner, Christ died for me. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. I want to remember the delicious humiliation of the fact that all I can do with God's mercy, love and blessing is to say "thank You." I can in no way repay Him and that's the way He likes it. I need to remember the meaning of "take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Most of all, I want to remember that God is God and that I am me and that is good. I love You, Lord.

"I'm at the door of the place I started out from, and I want back inside..." ~Bono

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